"

Because the first time I kissed a boy I was disgusted. It happened in the last minutes of recess, behind the swings, under the creaky bridge of the old wood structure that we always called a castle. I had been told that princesses always kiss boys. I didn’t know what I was doing, and neither did he. Our small tongues like slugs, slimy and awkward in each other’s mouths.
I thought, this is love, it has to be.

Because when I was too young, a man too old told me he loved me. I didn’t know what I was doing, but he did. He gave me things: movies to make me laugh, and all the ones about ghosts, a new set of paintbrushes, a beautiful marble stamp with my name carved inside. there was a back room full of videos and the wet smell of watercolors drying.
I was carved inside.
People ask me why I don’t paint anymore.

I was fifteen, and summer was just beginning. A slow breeze was lifting the curtains. I was spooning my best friend. The two of us cupped in the soft bowl of a papasan chair, nestled like fragrant fruit ripening, curled into each other. I was fascinated by the way her hair curled soft and golden, so close to me. Close enough to do anything. There was too much closeness. I kissed the freckles at the nape of her neck. She jumped up and screamed, demanding, What the hell was that. Thinking quickly I laughed- The look on your face!
She didn’t know what I was doing, and neither did I.

Because when I was fifteen, I thought I was in love with a girl across the country whom I had never met. My mother found my diary and read it: my fervent declarations of love, pages covered with a girl’s name, covered in hearts. My mother screamed, demanding, Tell me this is not true! I said, yes, you are right, it is not true.
She knew what I was doing, and so did I.
I thought, this is love,
protection and deceit,
it has to be.

Because my first real love had a love like a strangling fig. He took and took of me, until my well was dry. And then he took my dirt and my stone walls. I was carved inside.
He said, Everything is for you. I live for you. Breathe for you. Bleed for you. I would die without you. And I will, I will.
I wanted to know, is this love?
And he said, It has to be.
I knew what he was doing, but wished that I didn’t.

I thought, all I ever know of love is blood. It has to be.

Because the first time I met you I was scared you wouldn’t like me. You said I held your hand too tight. But inside of an elevator you kissed me quick, and you laughed at my stunned face and wide open eyes. I stood there for a second after the door opened, wanting it to close,
wondering what I could do to make you do that again.

Because I know the way you hold me.

Because we talk until dawn until my throat is sore from shared secrets and quiet laughter. I made myself sick one night staying up with you. I make myself sick sometimes, glutted on longing stuck in my throat. I want to kiss your eyes closed and watch them open to see how you look and how you look at me. I want you to stop me between floors and trap me in a confined space. I want the curve of my lips along your collarbones, I want it as my first thought in the moments before knowing.

Because in the quiet pre-dawn moments I even let myself want the things I cannot let myself say, the way if you say a wish it will not come true. I don’t know what I’m doing.
I think, I am so scared,
Because I am so scared.

"

why I am the way I am about you 

by michi, for my bae 

(via traumachu)

deny-your-destiny said: Do you think, though, that there is a difference between someone who legitimately enjoys a culture and their history and customs, travels to their country or whatever, and partakes in them for the purpose of learning? Because I've seen some people who call any display of a culture worn by a person not of that culture a racist.

fullten:

The thing is people don’t really understand what ‘legitimately enjoys a culture’ means, I mean you can ask any otaku and they think they are legitimately enjoying the culture. A lot of people, especially westerners, especially white westerners, will go to a country and make it all about them. The people, the history, the culture, become a backdrop, even if they are in their country, surrounded by the people, they find their customs, language, and their history ‘optional,’ and if the visitor gets called out on it, they do not apologize, but take it as an offense.  I mean if someone travels, researches, and actively apologizes when going out of line, understands that the people who live there, are fucking people, and they are not in a fucking petting zoo, they are not on some safari tour gawking at other human beings like they are animals, then that’s one thing, but a lot of people stereotype and flatten when they travel, there is very little respect to those who live there.  I don’t think if you wanna learn about another culture it’s racist, but I think people easily get confused, and too easily think whatever they are doing is ‘good’ because they never developed the skills necessary to see when they are being destructive. 

huffingtonpost:

Remember #BringBackOurGirls? This Is What Has Happened In The 5 Months Since
On the night of April 14, 2014, hundreds of schoolgirls at the Chibok boarding school in northeastern Nigeria awoke to the sound of gunfire. They saw men in camouflage approaching and thought soldiers were coming to save them from a militant attack, according to survivors’ accounts.

huffingtonpost:

Remember #BringBackOurGirls? This Is What Has Happened In The 5 Months Since

On the night of April 14, 2014, hundreds of schoolgirls at the Chibok boarding school in northeastern Nigeria awoke to the sound of gunfire. They saw men in camouflage approaching and thought soldiers were coming to save them from a militant attack, according to survivors’ accounts.

(via fullten)

sassy-gay-justice:

"You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel"

God DAMN thats some Shakespearean shit right there

(Source: iraffiruse, via exahall)

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

(via gingerthon)

(Source: artvevo, via exahall)

kaalashnikov:

onlinepunk:

Do u ever hate an entire subset of ppl so much

I hate these people, they immediately bring up ‘we have hybristophilia stop kink shaming’ there are lots of -philias that can and deserve to land you in jail and this is one of them

(via fullten)

amazighprincex:

princessandtheprep:

This is one of the most insulting things that I have ever seen, it makes me so mad I actually want to cry. I can’t believe magazines think that they can just dip a woman in brown paint, give her clothes from my culture to put on for a couple hours and then have audacity to call her an “African Queen”. Growing up I heard every joke about Africans and saw the negative stereotypes portrayed by the media that tried to make me feel so bad about where I come from. Yet Ive noticed when fashion magazine want to do spreads portraying poise and exoticness they often turn to Africa ( and many other foreign continents/nations) proving time and again that Africa is more than the negative images you see in the media)  but this time, to try and take parts of my beautiful culture just to have white women play the role of an “African Queen” proves that beauty cannot be seen in our countries/cultures unless it is represented by White people. 

"middle eastern (sic) and Moroccan fashion inspiration"

"We at no point attempted to portray an African women (sic) by painting her skin black"

"We wanted a tanned and golden skin tone"

  1. not fucking likely
  2. Morocco is in Africa, do you need to consult a map
  3. "it’s not blackface, it’s brownface!!!" is…that… better?

(via fullten)

dirtydarwin:

brute-reason:

Still Not a Joke — Good Awareness Campaign From Just Detention International

What if your kid went to jail for trying pot, something that is very probable if your kid is black and living in a state like Texas. Does that mean they deserve to be raped? Does that mean that they should live in conditions that go against all human rights?

Most prison rapes are committed by prison staff. Even if you are heartless and do not care about the prisoners, remember that these prison staff rapists go home to their nice houses in the outside world. Remember that they are your neighbors, maybe they even have babysat your children. Remember that as long as some victims are dehumanized and ignored, many perpetrators will never be caught. And yes, these perpetrators do pose a threat to you and your family. Prison rape, rape in generalis everybody’s problem. And definitely not a fucking joke. 

(Source: brutereason, via fuckyeahprisoninmates)

geekgirlsmash:

Any time someone asks me if “I’m too old for that”, I just direct them to Advanced Style.

(via fullten)